i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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