just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
