brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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