wat bout pragnant strippers??
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
