yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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