my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My breasts were aching with rage.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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