some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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