so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
