Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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