Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
