Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
