His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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