that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
