I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
