He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
