Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize