there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
