Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize