party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
