Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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