She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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