if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
