woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
do nipples grow back?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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