I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
