I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
