Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So vagazzling was a success
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
