I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
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fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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