This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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