Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
