one two three fourrrrnication!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
