I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize