I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
