no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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