This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Someone shattered a urinal.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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