if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
