Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
