he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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