I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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