he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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