i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
