what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
