I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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