I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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