I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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