i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
