I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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