I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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