Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
