His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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