im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
