On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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