she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
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we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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