Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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