return my video game
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
