I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
where are you?
Hypothermia
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
