i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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