butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
