Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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