i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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