Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who died my cat blue again?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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