Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face