It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
